“Had we but world enough, and time.”

WARNING: The following post may contain book/movie spoilers of Audrey Niffenegger’s TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE. Do not read on if you have the tendency to rage and abuse those who kill plot lines before you got to know them. Please, I am a tiny Asian girl.

I just thought I’d jot down my favourite lines from the book. All of them from Henry. And yes, because I am a nerd.

 

“I hate to be where she is not, when she is not. And yet, I am always going, and she cannot follow.”

“But you know: you know that if I could have stayed, if I could have gone on, that I would have clutched every second: whatever it was, this death, you know that it came and took me, like a child carried away by goblins.”

“Clare I want to tell you, again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.”

“I have given you a life of suspended animation. I don’t mean to say that you have nothing. You have created beauty, and meaning, in your art, and Alba, who is so amazing, and for me: for me you have been my everything.”

“If I had to live on without you I know I could not do it.”

“I love you, always. Time is nothing.”

Romantique

The first time I have ever seen a timepiece mechanical watch was when a friend showed me one when I was in Japan. I forgot who had it, it’s either a Swiss person (it would make sense) or this French guy. But anyway, I think he said his grandfather gave it to him (or I could possibly be making this story up, I love romanticism). And it’s this watch where you could open up the back bit to see all the mechanical engineered tinkerings inside. Haha I obviously do not know what they’re called. Nuts and bolts? Wheels and cogs? But I remember exclaiming, “Omg it doesn’t have a battery?!” <–ignorant

So after I realised there are watches that do not rely on batteries of some sort, I sat there looking at the wheels turn, amazed that the only thing it ran on was the person’s pulse. If there’s any chance of you seeing one, just watch it; it’s so hypnotic in a very soothing, relaxing way.

I completely forgot about it until I remembered it today and my adventurous mind started to wander again. There are no profound revelations here, my apologies. But just an image of myself stumbling upon an old, un-commercialised (but well-known in the area) watchmaker shop somewhere in Switzerland. And I was buying a timepiece watch, something I’d pass on to my children and their children’s children from the shop’s master watchmaker itself. And my undeniably awesome husband would be taking me back to the same shop every 3-5 years for the same watchmaker to service it.

*dreams* (gah, stupid photos. Why are you so tiny?!) I am getting so stressed out here, someone please take me to Switzerland now. If you can’t, you know what to get me for Christmas. 😉

Sensible non-sense

HA! I put up a new page! Presenting peEVE; a blog page catering solely to my rants and whinges, especially during that time of the month (apologies for unnecessary information). I put up my first peEVE on stereotypes. And in the most loving way possible, gosh they SUCK! haha Check it out, and if you have any ideas tell me!

Meanwhile, regular posts are on their way (ie still in my head). But I hope you get entertained nonetheless. Here are some funny baby photos! I don’t know why they amuse me, but this goes out to Brian, who has a strange fascination for weird baby faces. haha! You can view more baby tips here. 

Ciao, bella.

(another love blog, I suppose)

‘No more running wild, I’M YOURS FOR LIFE, you got me here.’

If only life was a massive SOS camp, where you’re surrounded by passionate people running the same race as you are, every single day, then this would be so much easier. The great thing about SOS camp was that I got away from every form of distraction in the world and I was completely immeresed in the one thing I am most passionate about.

But as everyone else has also experienced, we soon had to face those distractions again.

Ally shared last Friday that the opposition uses even greater lengths to make you stumble, not because you’re weak but because your victory is so much closer. And man, the things the enemy does. All it takes is a little seed of doubt planted in your hearts and that’s it, you’re off the track.

‘Is He making this so hard for me? Why? Is it because He thinks I’m weak? AM I STRONG ENOUGH?’

But HA! to the one who robs me of my value and my passion. This love is too strong, it sustains me. You’ve heard of that saying, ‘Love conquers all’ right? It’s such a cliche, but I’ve always thought cliche’s happen because, if not for the most part, there is some truth in it. Well, I was lost but He found me; I was weak, He made me strong; I was down and He took me higher. If that’s not love, then what is? (Wow Abbie, keep going with the cliches, good job. -_-)

So the world can go on doing what it does, the struggles, the obstacles…but I’m more than that, I am more than the circumstances around me. I’ll just run and keep on running towards the one who got me here.

(p.s. No particular theme in mind? Just rambling and releasing things in my head.)

The Message:

“NOTHING LESS.”

Break me.

Ok so this is a declaration. One that’s waaaaay long overdue.

ABBIE CASIN:

 

LET GO

of EMOTIONS that are unnecessary: bitterness, resentment, fear.

LET GO

of PEOPLE who are not pushing you forward towards God.

LET GO

of every unfruitful thing that takes up space in your heart.

 

I want to be remembered as someone who pushed for more.

It’s not that I’m not grateful; I’ll gladly acknowlege and accept my blessings.

But I will NOT be the person who settled for anything less.

When the curtains pull up, I will dance.

(Edit: I wrote this entry the day before my birthday but didn’t get to post it. I’ll post it anyway because it serves as a reminder to myself that I have a part in this great story.)

Ok it’s weird, I have been seeing the number 22 everywhere. Fb posts were posted 22 hours ago, my inbox has 22 emails, my blog was viewed 22 times, I have 222 friends on this social networking site…or something other. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe because it’s leading up to my birthday that this normal number just started becoming more prominent in my eyes.

So I was born on the 22nd of August. I’m turning 22. I am a twin. There’s really nothing out of the ordinary there, but those can’t all be coincidences. I looked up events in history that fell on this date and there were pretty interesting ones (aside from all the political revolutions and assassinations); I noticed alot of discoveries such as the discovery of theft of Mona Lisa  in 1911; of GOLD in Johannesburg, South Africa 1926; of the FIRST RING of Neptune in 1989; and of course, of Australia in 1170, when Captain James Cook landed on the eastern coast. On August 22 1941 German troops reached Leningrad and seiged it after. That was the start of World War II.  A year after that, Brazil declares war on Germany and Italy.

As for births, it would’ve been great if there were any Queens and Kings and Leaders born on this day, but alas, I didn’t see any. I did notice births of many artists, poets, writers and physicists (physicists?!). A sign perhaps?  

What’s the whole point of this? I really don’t know, but I bet you guys are going to look up now what historical events happened on YOUR birthday, aren’t you? hahah *Start a trend: DONE, boo-yah*

It does seem though, that lately, I have been subjected to prod into the day I was placed here on Earth. It’s not that I ever thought I was a mistake and that I had no place here, but just how IMPORTANT that day really was. I was told that God was thinking of me even before I was born, and last night when I was reading, it was revealed to me that he wasn’t just thinking of me, like how I think of certain people say, when I’m bored, or when I miss someone. When he thought of me, I was already predestined to be great. There was already a plan, just for me. I wasn’t chucked into this world and then was told, “Hmm, ok you can take the role of a teacher. Or maybe a poet.”

I was already  ready to be moulded into the image of Christ, to lead the way for my future children. The day God thought of me was the same day I was CHOSEN and CALLED. So when I was born on the 22nd day of the 8th month in the year 1987, God was already setting up ways to justify the plans He has for me. Everything that happened on the same day years before that , the discoveries and the wars, probably had nothing to do with me. It was probably someone else’s story. But here I am, turning 22 in less than 24 hours . What have I been doing all these years? I’ve stumbled along the way, got lost for a bit, ran around in circles; Tomorrow, I will not only celebrate the day I was born, but it shall be thus marked in history the day I let God say, “Let me uphold and prove the purpose I have for you.”

And wouldn’t it be great, on that day, I will be glorified by the same God who justified me?

Please wait here until the light changes.

I’ve never been a patient person. I’d like to think  that I am, and for a while I was in a delusion thinking that I was. But in reality, I have a short-fused temper, and I despise sitting on my ass waiting for things to happen to me while my precious time ticks away. I make things happen when I want them, how I want them. I get frustrated at people who do not take the initiative to do anything and they start complaining that the whole world is against them. The world doesn’t need lazy people like you son, here’s a dollar, go take your problems somewhere else.

But as I’ve realised there are some things that are completely out of my control. And whenever I tried putting these matters into my own hands, I’ve always come face-to-face with failure. It’s been hard placing faith in God. It sounded so easy saying I’m faithful when I was younger, but as I grew older and my desires for certain things grew with me, it got harder and harder for me to let God take over. It’s funny now, what the hell was I thinking asking God to step aside because I thought I could handle it? He must’ve been laughing at me and saying, “Oh yeah? Can you really?”

I’m trying to regain my faithful heart. It’s especially hard for a controlling person like I am, but I am starting to understand how much bigger God is compared to me. And these mountains in my way, they’re NOTHING to him. So I’ll wait. I absolutely can not (even if I tried) fathom how his mind works but I know he’s not just sitting there, holding things out from me just because he feels like it. He’s working everything out. I can’t obviously see the woods for the trees at the moment, but he can, and he knows his plans for me. If I just learn to let go and let God (did I get this from Ally?) I know when the time comes, everything will be complete, nothing will be lacking. How can things go wrong when he’s already said YES to it?

At the same time though, this does not mean I have an excuse to idle around and wait for things to unfold. I presume sitting and waiting,  and going with the flow are just as bad as trying to control things. I put my trust on the great plans he has for me and because I know he’s got great plans, I can’t be the same person as I was and I am now when I do receive it. What can I say when he tells me “These are all for you, are you ready for it?” I can’t be this weakling, stubborn, immature person that I am now. I want to be able to say, “Are you crazy God?! I’ve been preparing for this my whole life, psch, yeah come on, give me your best shot!” I have to get myself ready- make sure there’s enough petrol in my tank, I’ve cleaned my windows, put on my glasses, checked the tyres, adjusted all my mirrors- so when God gives me the GO sign, I can just let go of the brakes and go for it.

Maybe because I like to glow in the dark.

For those who know me, they’ll know how much I love sunrises and sunsets. I still remember the first time I ever watched a sunrise and how it took my breath away.

But whenever night falls, I absolutely fall in love looking at the glowing moon, and it leaves me equally breathless. I think where the majestic sun feels so nice and warm on my skin, I love the fact that I can look at and admire the moon without having to be blinded by it. =D

First to attack, first to falter.

I think most of the time, we know which decisions are the right ones to make, it’s just a matter of perseverance. Because God forbids, with only the slightest doubt and the littlest of excuses we make to tell ourselves that maybe it’s ok to go about it another way “just this one time”, we will be the first ones to fall back down.

And it’s annoying and such a let-down to find yourself again back to where you started from.

P.S. I apologise for the inconsistent updating of this blog. I shall now make it a habit to update this at least once a week. Oh and also forgive me for the rather pessimistic aura of this entry. There’s just something about writing at midnight full of emotions….