First to attack, first to falter.

I think most of the time, we know which decisions are the right ones to make, it’s just a matter of perseverance. Because God forbids, with only the slightest doubt and the littlest of excuses we make to tell ourselves that maybe it’s ok to go about it another way “just this one time”, we will be the first ones to fall back down.

And it’s annoying and such a let-down to find yourself again back to where you started from.

P.S. I apologise for the inconsistent updating of this blog. I shall now make it a habit to update this at least once a week. Oh and also forgive me for the rather pessimistic aura of this entry. There’s just something about writing at midnight full of emotions….

The world can be a cruel place (but it’s ok).

It’s hard not to be understood. So much energy and time are usually exhausted in trying to get other people to see it from your own point of view, to reassure you that you are indeed right and you are not being crazy. Often, you do end up acting like a psycho with all form of reason and rationality dissipating into the realms of the unknown, just to justify yourself.

Because as you are trying to convey your point across, the other person is doing the same thing. We are all self-indulgent creatures, all seeking to be understood. It’s frustrating and very difficult; there are no words that can describe the feeling of not being able to control the other person into thinking the way we do. For us, it’s always “WE’RE RIGHT” and “THEY’RE WRONG” and they’ll get it “IF THEY ONLY LISTEN TO ME”, etcetera. If we react to it, which we so often do, it usually takes the form of hostility, violence or shutting the person out. And the outcome? If not bitterness, more problems and anger, then it’s nothing. Nothing at all.

This is not the kind of person I want to be. It’s tiring giving reasons just so I could defend myself, and in reality, I CAN’T DO IT. It’s always resulted to massive proportions of failure. I will, therefore, leave all my battles in the hands of God. When I come across hard-headed people, I will let him fight for me, I will let him defend me. I will in turn, just focus my eyes on what is important, because I am not here to capture the approval of men, but to gain the favour of my ONLY AUDIENCE.

Choco-LAHT.

I know we have this bitter-sweet relationship going on between us. Sometimes you can be too sweet for my precious taste buds, you are such a sell-out, many embarrassing moments could have been avoided if you hadn’t devilishly decided to stay in between my teeth, people in impoverished countries slave their lives away just to make you and you never go anywhere but straight down to my thighs. Oh and you can be quite expensive as well.

But I would just like to say, when so much tears I never thought I could produce in one night start rolling down my face, when my broken heart starts to ache so bad that I’d rather them pluck out all my nails and douse them in lemon juice, THANK YOU for never failing to make me feel better. ^_______^

Here we go again, hun.

I love this song by Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony.  Someday I will love someone as passionate as this and that I will be strong enough to fight for them regardless of the circumstances. Oh god, why am I such a sad case?! HAHAH. Oh here’s an English translation of the song. (To do: Learn Spanish 🙂 )

No Me Ames (Don’t Love Me)

Marc: Tell me why you’re crying.
Jen: Of happiness
Marc: And why are you drowning?
Jen: For loneliness
Marc: Tell me why you take my hands so strongly, and let your thoughts carry you away?
Jen: I love you so much.
Marc: And why is that?
Jen: Crazy stubborn person, stop doubting it any longer. Even though in the future here will be a huge wall, I’m not afraid, I want to fall in love.

Marc: Don’t love me because you think that I may appear different.

Jen: You don’t think it’s right for us to see time go by together?
Marc: You don’t love me, I understand the lie that it would be
Jen: If your love I don’t deserve, don’t love me, just stay another day.
Marc: Don’t love me, because I am lost, because I changed the world, because it is destiny.  Because it’s not possible, we are like a mirror and you  would be my reflection.
Jen: Don’t love me, you would be dying within a war full of  regrets. Don’t love me to be on this Earth, I would like to throw your enormous love for the blue of the sky.
Marc: I don’t know what to tell you, this is the truth. When people want to, they know how to show compassion.
Jen: You and I will depart, they would not move, but in this lonely sky, don’t leave me alone.
Marc: Don’t leave me, don’t leave me. Don’t listen to me if I tell you not to love me.
Jen: Don’t leave me, don’t  disable my heart with that “Don’t love me.”
Marc: Don’t love me, I’m begging you, leave me with my bitterness.

 Jen: You know well, that I can’t, that it is useless, that I will always love you.
Marc: Don’t love me, since I would make you suffer with this heart that is filled with a thousand winters.
Jen: Don’t love me so that you can forget your gray days. I want you to love me just to love me.
Marc: Don’t love me, you and I will fly with the other and we will  always be together.
Jen: This  love is like the sun that comes out after the storm. Like two comets on the same path.
Marc: Don’t love me
Jen: Don’t love me
Marc: Don’t love me

To Like or Not To Like (quick, lazy post)

I have just been told that I have a wacked view on things, and my thoughts and reflections are pretty random. Well whatever the hell that means, if you’ve happened to stumble upon this little world of mine and liked, disliked, got frustrated, weirded out, etc, by what you read, can you just put a little comment down at the bottom. Doesn’t need to be big, it doesnt even need to be a word. I just….I just need a bit of lovin’ I guess. LOL

*This goes out to you D-san*

Resting

In the interval of the combat, the warrior rests.
He often spends days on end doing nothing, because his heart needs that.
But his intuition remains alert. He does not commit the capital sin of Sloth, because he knows where that can lead to: the tepid feeling of Sunday afternoons, when time passes – and nothing else.
The warrior calls this “cemetery peace.” He recalls an extract from the Apocalypse: I curse you because you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or hot! But since you’re tepid, I shall vomit you from my mouth.

A warrior rests and laughs. But he is always attentive and ready to act.

Taken from Paulo Coelho’s blog.

In the midst of the hustle and bustle of the responsibilities of our daily lives, sometimes we need to just stop and rest our hearts. Not so we could stop doing, but so we could listen. Listen to the desires of our hearts that we so often end up suppressing that it starts to kill us slowly.

Rest a while, young warrior, and live.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakepeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

 When all things become uncertain, there is only one that have remained and will always remain the same. I’m holding on to that one thing that won’t fail me, when everything else does.